Eulogy for Katherine Overton Harrell

Only a few of you ever met Kathy Overton Harrell but you knew her just the same because you know her sister Debi. Oh, not that they were clones but just the opposite. They were not much alike at all. Kathy was outgoing, a party animal, cheerleader and all-around fun and games girl as they were growing up. Debi was a piano nerd.

The girls were what are called Irish twins. They were born just eleven months apart in Roanoke Rapids, NC. Debi was like her Dad … music and church, church and music while Kathy was like her mom … out there and into everything. Dad used to school the preachers on biblical matters and Mom was assistant to the Senator responsible for desegregating NC. Debi and Dad were exceptional writers, Kathy and Mom were outstanding mathematicians. Kathy was a terrific accountant and tax wizard.

We used to fly her up to do our taxes. It was cheaper than an accountant and we got to spend a little time with her.

Right out of college, Kathy had a brief marriage that took her to middle America where everyone talked funny and it was too damn coldIt didn’t take long before she fled back to the warmth of NC where everyone sounded very much like she did and heat was abundant.

In time, Johnny Harrell came into her life. He was a downhome kind of fellow with a big welcoming family. Even though RR is filled with Overtons, actual relatives, Deb & Kath really didn’t have relationships with them because their dad, the eldest of eleven, had to go to work very young and there was no time to socialize. That, and the family illness, alcoholism, kept them insulated.

When baby Josh came along, Kathy’s life was complete. For the next 25 years, she devoted herself to his well-being and happiness. He was going to be a baseball player, a pro. She was sure of it.  If we lived in England, you can bet that she would have believed he would be King one day. He was her everything, her all. They had a beautiful home, drove great cars, took wonderful vacations. Everything was humming along without a hitch. Josh had finished two years of college, had the most beautiful girlfriends and was living the life of a prince.

Then, the dream collapsed and the long nightmare began. Johnny died soon after a terminal diagnosis. Kathy lost her job. Both she and Josh began a downspin that would last seven years. The house went, college was over, vacations and fine things were all in the past.  They moved to the country and began to live in ways we never knew. Kathy and Debi spoke weekly but Kath would not tell her that anything was amiss. We had no idea. We would have brought them here if we had even a clue.

In late August, Kathy found Josh dead in his bed.  We would like to think it was an accidental overdose but the more Kathy & Debi commiserated, the more they came to believe that Josh could not stand the loss of his father and watching his mother deteriorate.

We brought Kathy to our home believing that she would spend her remaining years with us. Had we not been expecting her, we would not have recognized her. She had lost eighty pounds in the last year. We had no idea that she had just stopped drinking the year before. In truth, we had no idea that she was a drinker!

We immediately sought medical attention for her thinking we could get her back into shape. By then, her liver was working at under ten percent.  It was in and out of hospital for the next three months. She was a tough lady. Hospice gave her just a few days but she lived two weeks. Debi told her on Thanksgiving that it was alright to go home to God, Johnny and Josh. The next evening, Debi and our cousin, Jacqui, the nurse, had barely walked in from a visit to the Millard Suburban, when the hospital called to say she was gone.

Debi left NC almost fourty years ago because there was no work to be had for an accompanist of her stature. Kathy left NC because there was no family to care for her there. It was getting cold here and we all talked funny mmm lol … even the sister she came to know loved her as if they lived next door the last four decades. The warmth of family was what they shared those three very hard months. We trust that having both Johnny and Josh waiting for her made a short life well worth living. Rest in peace dear sister in law. I will still root Syracuse on to beat NC but I will do so knowing you are watching over my shoulder just as you planned.