daniel, Page 11 Author

Eulogy for VERONICA MOHR MORGAN
St. Ann’s RC Church, Syracuse, NY
Given by Kathleen Bryce Niles

For all practical purposes, since March 7, 1949, Veronica Mohr Morgan has been my Mother-in-Law. Her 2.5 year old, Mikey, was sitting on the stoop as we moved into our house on Merrell Road. From that day, until three years ago, when Mother and I stood on either side of his hospital bed, each of us holding a hand, to send him home to God, Mikey and I were inseparable. Fifty nine years may seem like a long time but believe me, it has only been a blink of an eye.

When Michael’s father died, Mikey was just 18 years old. As many of you know, Mike was unique. Somehow, in his mind, it became his job to take care of Mother. Those of us close to both of them understand very well that it was she who always took care of him. He never quite got that.

He thought that being an adult meant that he should live his life separate from his mother. While this is true, Mikey often took it to the extreme. He would come and go rarely stopping to note that he would be visiting friends for a few days or a week in Washington, Boston, Baltimore and so on. Thus, it became one of my jobs to let Mother know that Mikey was fine and to expect him home soon.

That was just one of many job that I held as conduit between the two of them. And, I am here today as the conduit between all of you and Michael.

It fell to me to tell Mother what Mikey was doing and thinking, because it was not something he could ever do himself. She learned through me just how much he loved and respected her.

From the time we were teens, Michael called me “Darl” … among numerous other epithets that this edifice and good taste prevent me from sharing.

I would get calls or visits that always began with “Darl, you have to tell Mother … ” Sometimes it had to do with things very mundane … “Tell Mother to do something about the plumbing … ” Sometimes it was more personal … “Darl, tell Mother to stop falling asleep in the kitchen … she fell off the chair again last night” … and sometimes even more touchy … “Darl, tell Mother she is imbibing in too much Thunderbird” … Those of you who knew Mother also know that she was her own woman. She did her own thing … always with grace and a sense of pride. No one, including me, told Mother what to do.

Then, came the call … “Darl, you have to tell Mother that I have cancer.” I went up to the house and did what Michael asked. Mother was stunned, stoic and hopeful. Prayer was her dear friend … and it wouldn’t surprise us to know that her prayers may have been why we held on to Michael for twenty more years.

I also had to tell her all those things her son felt but could never say to her … things he might tell you if he was here today.

He thought she was beautiful … indeed, she was from the first time I met her when she was just 33 to the day she died at 92. I called her one day when she was at Van Duyn and she was giggling. Yes, actually giggling. She said, “A volunteer, some old guy has been hitting on me.” I said, “How old?” She said, “70.”

Michael thought his mother was brilliant. Just recently, she said, “I bet you didn’t know that I took a course at the U of Rochester.” I didn’t know. It was a Dale Carnegie course … the fellow who wrote How to Win Friends and Influence People. I said, “Mother, you could have taught that course.”

Michael thought she was very brave … taking a job at Parole after all those years as a homemaker. He would tell me how Mother was spending a good deal of time with Fr. Sheedy & Fr. Morse here at St. Ann’s because of all the vile things she was hearing and seeing at the Parole Office. It was not the kind of environment for someone so tasteful and classy to be in but she persisted thru retirement in order to finish raising Michael and Melissa.

And, Michael was very proud of his mother. And, she was very proud of him. When Fr. Matthews called and asked me if we would like Mikey to lie in state at St. Lucy’s instead of at the funeral home, she was very proud indeed. Throughout the entire ordeal of losing her son, Mother taught us all about saying goodbye with dignity and gratitude for the time we had.

Speaking of St. Ann’s this church played a major part in the lives of many of us from Merrell, Huntington and Inverness. Our parents built this church in so many ways. My g’mother was the first to be buried from St. Ann’s … Mikey was in the first communion class … and, Mother was a pillar … years on Altar Guild and helping with any and everything to move the church forward.

Mother kept wondering why God kept her around so long. The answer came just a couple of weeks ago when her beloved brother, Justin, died. She was still here to help Aunt Betty because Mother knew all there was to know of loss and how to deal with it and go on. She had had far too much practice not to be skilled in it.

Martha is going to speak of Mother and the family but I need to be a conduit for just a bit more. Mother loved Michael and Melissa very much much. Martha, however, because of the closeness of their age and the fact that Martha was more a Mohr than a Morgan, was Mother’s best friend, too.

For the past few years, Martha has truly lived the life of a saint. In addition to the full-time care of Bill, she has had Mother to care for these past two months … knowing that she was going to die. While they had quality time together that neither would ever give up, it is a rare person who could do what Martha has done and it is the rare mother who created such a person. We were all privileged to have her in our lives.

It is never easy summarizing the legacy from any life, let alone one that spanned more than nine decades but I believe I know how to do it in only 21 words …

Martha Michael Melissa

Kelly Tim Michael Susan

Brooke Katelyn Justin

Jessica Michael Robert Garrett

Mereta Conor Morgan Sarah

Emily Megan Jeffrey

And I think Mother would allow me to add Kathleen.