Sometimes when we speak, our intent is quite different from what comes across. As noted, Miss Addie has been on my mind a lot. When we moved from Syracuse to Buffalo, mom was into her seventh year of Alzheimers. When the VNA called to say they had an aide who could come twice weekly for two hours to provide time to do errands, I asked, “Is she Black?” There was a prolonged silence and a quiet voice said, “Yes, is that a problem?” … “Oh, no,” says Kathleen. “She may think it is my grandmother.” You can imagine what the clerk initially thought.