Eulogy for HARRY McCABE DODGE, JR.
delivered at St. Mary’s Church, Baldwinsville, on August 24, 2009
by his cousin, Kathleen Bryce Niles
The reason that I am speaking this morning is because when Grandpa Dodge died, Grandma Dodge moved into the flat above Uncle Harry & Aunt Rose on Rich Street in Syracuse. My mother, Aunt Addie to many of you, spent a part of every day with her mother. And thus, I grew up in the house with this Harry, Donnie & Sue. They were not merely my cousins. They were and are, my brothers & sister. I always had the inherent knowledge & security, even as a very young child, that if anything happened to my parents, I was safe within this family.
The five and a half years that I had on Little Harry (who will go to his grave today still being called Little Harry by most of his 33 first cousins) … those 5.5 yrs. meant that I was the Big Sister and my job was to protect the three of them knowing full well that the wrath of the generation above would fall upon me should I fail. I always did my best. To this day, I often find myself attempting to be the buffer among them when some dispute is at hand. I don’t always do as well in adulthood as I did in childhood in soothing, smoothing and generally making the most difficult of times easier for each of them. But I continue to try.
When we were children, there was no Atari, Nintendo, cel phones, U tube nor ipod. We had black & white, three station tv that really, really sucked. What we did have was imagination. We pretended. In our play, we were whomever … whatever we could dream. With ten more cousins living in the house behind … Uncle Bill’s kids … we were a family that didn’t need any body else to create our own world.
In his imagination, Little Harry was a fireman, a soldier, a dad … Unlike the rest of us who grew into jobs we never envisioned as children, Harry became all those things that he dreamed. This is a monumental achievement that very few can claim. In so many ways, he grew into a man of conviction, purpose and destiny.
Just a kid when the Vietnam War began, Harry did three tours of duty amidst the napalm, agent orange, explosions, controversies, drugs and all the attendant dangers and horrors of war … A war that so many at home didn’t understand … didn’t appreciate … didn’t realize was being fought by our own children who came home to disrespect, derision and a sense that their own people had no awareness of what they had done as Americans asked to serve their country by their own government. There were no parades, no accolades, no hip hip hoorays for Harry, for Donnie, for all their comrades. But still they held their heads high in the knowledge that they had done their very best to protect and serve. To the end, Harry was a Marine … proud of his uniform, proud to have done his very best. He signed off on his emails and his phone conversations with Semper Fie, the marine motto. And he was proud that his father, a Navy man, served in both WWII and Korea. And, even more proud that his sons served in the armed forces. Mick and Nate were Marines … the latter serving two tours of duty in Iraq. And Kelly was an Army man. Harry set the bar high and they rose to meet their dad there.
And, Harry was a firefighter…again, like his dad, Harry, Sr … and again, followed by his son. He volunteered with the Plainville FD for years and years becoming Chief. His willingness to put his life on the line for others again set another bar high. And, Harry, III, whom we know as Mickey, now serves the people of Syracuse as a full-time firefighter. Additionally, Harry was an EMT with the Plainville Ambulance Corps, B’ville Ambulance Corps and the Carrier Corp Fire Rescue. He worked tirelessly to rescue and save the lives of countless people in need. The lessons we learn from our fathers as children serve us for a lifetime.
And, Harry’s daughters learned the importance of service. Elizabeth is a Deputy Sheriff in Onondaga County and Sarah serves the elderly in an Assisted Living facility. Whether we realize it at the time, we become so much of what we have seen in our parents.
And, Harry was a Dad … I wasn’t around for those decades in his life but I will bet that he was a tough dad … a guy who was a strict disciplinarian and who took no stuff from his five kids. Grandpa Dodge was incredibly hard on his nine children and each of them, in turn, learned that to raise strong, competent and disciplined children, that it was necessary to seldom speak softly but to often carry the big stick. I like to say that my Mother was raised by a Ninja. My mother was a Ninja. So was Uncle Harry and I have no doubt that Little Harry carried on the tradition of taking no prisoners. What we all learn, in time, is that they all did their best. They did what they believed was the right thing to make us the best possible Dodge that we could be. It was not easy living through childhood with the kind of discipline and restrictions imposed upon us but it did make us very strong individuals. And, we knew, we know, that we were loved. Harry’s children were much loved by him. He spoke with pride and admiration for who they grew to be. If they each remember that discipline is best served up with love, they will not raise the kind of children that we are seeing everywhere we go these days.
And, Aunt Rose … we, who are Dodges, often forget the one person who kept the peace, found the sanity, kept our Dodge parent from infanticide, and molded us just as much, if not more, than our father or mother did. For Harry, his mother was, is, the paragon of goodness, mercy and love. She was able to spend a few months with him in NC last year which gave both of them so much peace and comfort. And as much closure as losing a child could ever offer.
Harry is at rest after going out like most Dodges, waging war against the inevitable … we just don’t die without a fight. We don’t do much without a fight. Most people with the cardiac condition that plagued Harry for the last decade would have been gone years ago. Instead, he was thrilled right up to his last breath believing that he would be back at Kelly’s right about now. He never gave up.
Those of us who loved him are glad that he is really home now. So, do not mourn for Harry. Say your prayers for him, yes. But understand that most of your prayers belong with his mother, his brother, his sister, and his children and grandchildren. They are left to a world that no longer has a Harry McCabe Dodge, Jr. in it. They are left to rise to a very high standard of goodness and kindness. It is their job to see that Harry’s name (and, yes, there is a Harry, IV) goes on with the kind of pride and sense of service to others that was this Harry’s hallmark. Semper Fie, dear boy … we are very proud of you.